My boyfriend talks to his ex about our relationship. and that’s especially true if it was a long relationship.
- My boyfriend talks to his ex about our relationship. Again, this doesn’t mean he’s still in love with her or wants to be with her, but it might be a sign that he hasn’t fully moved on from the relationship, emotionally speaking. “Oh, but Curiosity is a big one. Last night we went to a little music festival nearby and there was a pageant queen there who he said looked like his ex (the heartbreaker, and no, she did not). My current boyfriend pulled me up on it and said I talk about him way too much on our dates and he didn't see how it was necessary to tell what he hated. He said he had a conversation with a few guy friends that were married and they all agreed that talking about an ex to a current partner/ wife is the worst thing one can do for the relationship. After the break up, he apparently spent five years completely single because the break up pain was too much for him. Well, the one thing I want to make you aware of is that this particular page is not a “get your ex boyfriend back” guide. 2 years into the relationship I had the chance to meet his ex and it went okay apart from at the end he said It sounds like what you’re asking me is whether your boyfriend having kids is a deal-breaker or not, and no one can answer that but you. While he was desperately trying to avoid telling you this, he was so occupied with the thought that the name of his ex came out of his mouth. A good relationship is literally all about compromise and boundaries. 1K. He wanted me to know what his expectations for me were, what I needed to do or not to do to keep him around. It is totally normal for your boyfriend to talk to his female friend every day. Possible Reasons Why He Is Still in Touch With His Ex. But that is it. Did I have every right to feel uncomfortable and angry? When you're in a new relationship, the only information you really want to know about your partner's ex is how subpar they were compared to you. "For instance, if your partner loves travel, and you don't and won't, and you see him or her enjoying this passion with an ex, you've basically given that ex a tacit invitation to interfere in Whatever went on in their marriage, it isn’t a reflection of you or your relationship. You and your boyfriend must have a frank conversation about this – a one-and-done kind of dialogue. 3) Let him deal with relationship issues with his ex. It really depends on your ex’s Here’s the thing: Thinking about an ex is common, and it happens to the best of us. When it comes to our exes, we often want to be the one who helps them move on. At the same time he told me that he still have the feeling for his ex crush which he love for 1 and half years. Sexual innuendos. Whenever I mention something, for example our height difference (as we haven't met yet because of covid and finances but we are going to meet this month for the first time), his first thought is his ex. Some people talk a lot about how much they hate It’s incredibly risky, and foolish. Today's answer comes in the form of a video! Find out what advice I offer today's reader, whose boyfriend is secretly talking to his ex. He probably is still very much in love with his ex, don't let him use you to pass the time until his ex takes him back. How often do you and your ex even talk and what do you talk about? My boyfriend won’t talk to me about his exes . If your partner is attentive to your needs and respects any boundaries you agree upon At the start of my current relationship with my boyfriend I mentioned things like how my ex hated dogs, the zoo or me having to go watch his shitty football games. “I know it’s easier said than done, but because retroactive jealousy pulls you into Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! My boyfriend constantly talks about his ex girlfriends Both of our parents were married on the 13th; the letter that I read from my grandpa during my proposal was dated Nov. Talk to him about it. My (16F) boyfriend (17M) still talks to his ex, who harassed me for months after we started dating. There’s 3 possibilities here for why your boyfriend still talks to his exes When your boyfriend defends his ex-wife more than your emotions, it’s clear that he’s still emotionally attached to her. We had been friends for 2y before that. If he’s putting his ex on a pedestal Calmly explain your thoughts, including how it makes you feel, he added. In my relationship, I'm the one who's very shy about sex while my girlfriend tells everyone about everything we've done. 13, 1953; Nov. There are so many reasons they could be doing this. NerdLove: My first two marriages ended badly, with my first being abusive and the second him being unfaithful. Even if you're not looking to rekindle an old flame, good communication skills are useful if you want to remain friends after a break-up. Maybe you have been willing to discuss stuff related to your past relationship or ex-partner with your present boyfriend without any ill intentions. They broke up a year and a monthish But whenever we’re apart, I can’t help but obsess over his ex, compare myself to her or our relationship to theirs, and wonder whether he would go back to her if given the chance. Unresolved romantic desires. At the start of my current relationship with my boyfriend I mentioned things like how my ex hated dogs, the zoo or me having to go watch his shitty football games. I listened and my boyfriend started saying how his ex was the most attractive person he's dated. 2. We both have kids with our ex spouses. Nothing wrong with being friends with an ex. Is It OK For Jealousy may occur if you perceive a threat to your relationship in real-time, such as when you notice your partner dancing too familiarly with someone at a bar, or if your partner is paying extra attention to someone you feel is attractive. The warning signs when your boyfriend talks with his ex. "This shows that your partner is not demonizing the ex or making everything 11 Things To Do When Your Boyfriend Talks to His Baby Mama Everyday 1. Now, I know how this sounds immediately but give me a chance to explain. If you’d like to ensure you communicate with your significant other in a way that can improve your relationship, it can be vital to practice active listening, watch your partner’s nonverbal communication, be honest, and don’t assume you can read your partner’s If your partner can genuinely say that their ex is a good person, that's a good sign they'll be a good partner to you. They were texting a day Doubting about his feeling without any proof may sounds accusing, but asking about it after you meet his ex is a right thing to do. 12. my (F21) boyfriend (M28) is BEYOND insecure. So, if your ex-boyfriend is talking to you again, he may just be trying to be civil to you in social situations. He compares you to her. If your goal is to win him back, you'll need to be intentional about how you communicate. Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Need to Keep Possessions at Her House. Amidst the high-intensity feelings your logical sense feels clouded, and making a decision regarding this situation can feel overwhelming or even irrational. Today’s article is in response to a question from a reader (via Ask Melissa!) about how to determine if he’s really over his ex-wife. This was an early manipulation tactic, and I see it now as a red flag. His ex called while we were driving home and her name popped up on the display in the car. Months later he came back to me. The first is that his grief destroys your relationship and you break up. I know his ex, and she's pretty nuts. i endured a series of horrifically abusive relationships. In fact, the results showed that most of them engage in obsessive behavior, such as stalking their exes online. My BF was married for 18 years and he has kids and a grand daughter and he NEVER talks about his ex. In my response, I provide the tell-tale signs that he’s not over his ex-wife, how to tell whether he’s ready for a relationship with you, and how to know whether you should “stick it out” of run for the hills: 13 Possible Reasons Why Your Ex Is Hiding His New Relationship 1. Talk to your partner. In fact, if he still talks to his ex and is in touch with her, you being worried as a girlfriend is not an anomaly, it is rather the norm. The 2 crucial factors that determine whether him being in touch with his ex is something bad or if it’s nothing However, of course, it is not good for you since that action bothered you every time they are contacted. If the past is truly in the past, the ex should be moving on and starting their own new relationship. But at the same time I love my boyfriend but it just doesn’t feel the same as before. In those cases, it’s perfectly normal if your new wife is insecure about your ex-wife. I know this is not what you want to hear at first, but the best way to address a challenge is by exploring all root causes. Is there a reason you’re talking about them?” If your partner is sending you mixed signals, tell them that. It’s incredibly natural to wonder what it means when a guy talks about his past relationships or a girl Honestly, i feel like your boyfriend is enabling his ex. and that it doesn't matter a damn bit that they know about your behavior with your ex My boyfriend (without my knowledge) used me to cheat on his ex. The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Hello. So let's do a quick check-in. He’s 30 and I’m 26. Towards the end of our relationship he used his other ex to come in between us. But if your partner talks to their ex all the time or hangs out with them regularly, they are both failing to respect your current relationship. If he is talking about something to do with the kids and she is involved he might say "their mother" did so and so. Then, have a conversation with your boyfriend where you can express your emotions in a non-accusatory way. If my ex boyfriend before him passed i dont know how I'd feel. And it can get terribly awkward to continuously ignore or avoid each other. If your partner's relationship with their ex is healthy and chock full of firm boundaries, there'd be no reason for them to hide it. If your partner can justify his actions and you both decide to make your relationship work, be clear that you feel uncomfortable about his What to think / do if your boyfriend still talks to his ex, and – whatsmore – what to do if your boyfriend won’t stop talking to his ex. Let’s face it, talking to your ex about your new partner feels awkward. This makes me very uncomfortable and worried about our relationship. My(20 f) boyfriend (23 M) talks about his ex at the weirdest times. If [] OK let me start this off by saying we haven’t been together officially that long as of right now but we have been seeing each other for eight months. One year boyfriend still talks to his abusive ex girlfriend, should I do something about it ? Me (25F) and my boyfriend (25M) have dated for a year and it has been really amazing. Still, knowing what he thought of her, I was very insecure. ) I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, he has always maintained in contact with his ex. If your partner can justify his actions and you both decide to make your relationship work, be clear that you feel uncomfortable about his Ok so I’m having a issue I just don’t want to tell my bf I talked to him and wanted the truth about this prank he did to his ex he pranked her by fake dating her fake saying old things like we say now I thought it was our thing I trust him but he didn’t tell me he was texting his ex after 2-3 months I feel like he still loves her or likes So I understand we all have baggage especially when we are in our 40's. Again, not advised to be petty but as a last resort sort of move it can work. So, regardless of his excuses, here are some of the real reasons he may be talking to Or another route is telling him how you feel. my partner is still good friends with one particular ex who I've come to befriend through him. But it already grinds me I can feel it :( I will talk more with him, try to set my own boudaries Reply [deleted] If you find out your partner is messaging their ex, you can't ignore the situation. That is a totally different entity than you & your relationship with them. Let him know that talking about his ex makes you feel hurt and uncomfortable. If she’s always coming first, it’s time to have a talk with him about where your relationship stands. Now, I don’t know where I His ex-wife is seeing someone new, but what’s more upsetting to your boyfriend is that his son is treating this new guy or calling this new guy his new Daddy, but your boyfriend is his REAL daddy. He might also be trying to protect you from his ex’s interference or thoughts about his new relationship. That she was so hot that she turned heads. Simply ask them about it. It might be hard but if you want to know what to do when your Me (22f) and my guy (26m) have been together for almost a year now, and our relationship is starting to get pretty serious. I love that he refills my water bottles without me asking. If your ex watches all your 2. If you love him, then talk to him and tell him you will not compete for his attention and that you deserve better. We both had a talk about it and agreed to only bring up the ex if it could help our relationship. This is a huge, huge issue. Your boyfriend could also be speaking to his ex to ensure his past does not affect his current relationship with you. In many relationships where there’s the case of the ‘ex’, spouses find it hard to get over the fact that there was or is another person in the picture. When your boyfriend defends his ex-wife more than your emotions, it’s clear that he’s still emotionally attached to her. It is somewhat worrying that my partner talks to me about his ex , and if he does almost always much more. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that. 6. Start talking about your ex boyfriends when he talks about his ex's and he will get the picture. Idealizing the Past Relationship. He doesn’t like it when you read texts from his ex on his cell phone Find out his side and how he truly feels. This one is pretty obvious, but if your 02 They Seem Uncomfortable When Their Ex’s Name Is Mentioned. Recently, their conversations have shifted into a more sexual nature He will use his ex to threaten your relationship with him. I found out when he tried to quit cold turkey and nearly died. My boyfriend is always bringing up his ex in our conversations. The first incident happened about 2 months into dating him. A few weeks ago, about a month after we got into a relationship, me F/20 and my boyfriend M/22 were talking about previous relationships. "A caring partner will likely respond with an They Still Keep Photos Of Their Ex. I told him I would compromise by trying to get over them talking on a regular basis. Let them know how you feel and discuss any boundaries you Skip to Content. Small, vindictive victory dance for me. I’m 29 weeks pregnant with his child. 1,092 1. You mention that he is a jerk, make your argument and dispute with his behavior and not about the fact that he reached out to I wouldn't worry about that unless you also have other reasons to worry. TheseCry4461 • I totally understand where where your coming from my boyfriend also use to talk to his ex and he wouldn’t even tell me only when it was convenient for him etc. You might say things like “It really bothers me when you talk to your ex” or “The fact that we always see your ex makes However, of course, it is not good for you since that action bothered you every time they are contacted. If you are suspicious of your partner's feelings, notice if they talk about their partner a lot or compare you to them constantly. So what to do when your boyfriend won't stop talking to his ex? This is your answer. Given you’ve seen him talking to his ex, I’m guessing he’s After the first couple times we hung out I told him I noticed he talks a lot about his exes, but he continued to bring them up out of context often. If your boyfriend praises his ex or talks about her frequently, that builds jealousy and insecurity in your heart because you feel they are still not over their past relationship. Unless your boyfriend and his friends are literally comparing you to his ex, talking about how they preferred her, or saying What should I do if I feel jealous or upset about something my boyfriend shares regarding his ex? Firstly, acknowledge your feelings as normal and valid. Unless your boyfriend and his friends are literally comparing you to his ex, talking about how they preferred her, or saying OK let me start this off by saying we haven’t been together officially that long as of right now but we have been seeing each other for eight months. It started with just dirty looks and talking about me (we shared a class and she shared a class with a few friends of mine who let me in on what she was saying). 7 They Only Talk When You're Not Around. People sometimes regret the breakup, and they’ll do anything to destroy your new relationship. Say something like If he won’t block his ex, then you unblock your ex. If your boyfriend's actions are worrying you, read on to find out what you can do about it. His insecurities and his lying are our main problems. That said, your relationship is in its early stages. Reply reply Sounds like your boyfriend dwells on his ex. But when you realize, “Um, my boyfriend follows his ex on Instagram,” or, “My girlfriend follows her ex on Instagram,” then things might get a little more complicated. Dear Dr. But when you’re with a guy who does not like to talk about his ex, then it can be a clear sign he is not over her yet. If your partner’s relationship with their ex bothers you, say something. You could say, “I feel like you've been talking about your ex a lot recently. There’s always the possibility you’ve read too much into his actions with his ex. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and over the past couple months has been telling his friends that I don’t make him happy and just telling them how awful I am, they have been trying to tell him to break up with me but he says he feels bad and doesn’t want to hurt me because he still cares. But im trying understand him missing her. And I love my new boyfriend. We’ve been together for almost a year now and we’ve definitely had our ups and downs, but throughout all of it, I’ve felt loved, respected, and cared for. My boyfriend talks about his ex TOO much. If he’s your boyfriend, then you have no choice but to trust him completely. It sounds harsh. For example, I was 3 months into my relationship when my ex (then gf) when she told me I shouldn't be posting pictures of me hugging my female friends because her family, friends and acquaintances would interpret them very negatively. 14. He *or you* can justify his behavior all you want, but let’s face it – if your boyfriend still talks to his ex, none of the reasons can be good. For example my husband and I like to poke fun at each other but it got to a point where it could turn nasty (like it did with my ex) so And I’m not just talking about you blindly trusting your boyfriend not to sleep or flirt with his ex. She was a lot older than him & they had to keep their relationship a secret. If he doesn’t want to recognize that fact then he’s probably still in love with her. 16. We are both so deeply in love, but the first month of the relationship, without my knowledge, he was still talking to his ex. He starts talking about hers and his height difference. There is no relationship law that states that you cannot be worried about your boyfriend talking to his ex. They’re a support and a confidant and you don’t want to lose that. honestly. My relationship was going pretty good and heading to the 4 months mark when my boyfriend broke it off, telling me he has reconciled with his ex. [Read: 6 big reasons to stop cyber stalking your guy’s ex] The real reasons your boyfriend talks to his ex. Especially after you told him about it. I’m also talking about him being trustworthy enough to not put you in positions that make 2. Turn to your friends and family for support to talk you through the jealousy and help give you Finding out that your boyfriend has been lying about texting his ex sets grounds for getting worried, trust issues, and suspicion. If you notice any of these, then you can be sure that he still likely has feelings for her, and might even consider getting back together with her. So when me and him first got together it was great but the last 8 months he’s bringing his ex up alot see I may just be over thinking this but It’s starting to make me feel pretty shitty. Not only does he still talk about his ex, but everything he says about her sounds resentful — a huge sign that he’s not over the relationship! You can tell a lot about a guy by the way he talks about a past girlfriend. This can be an opportunity for reassurance and strengthening your relationship. Keeping in touch with an ex while in a relationship can create emotional confusion and conflict. Especially his ex-girlfriend. With my current boyfriend, I don't really care. In a negative way, however this relationship ended 3 years ago. I have an ex husband as well. . Hence, you try to make them turn away from their ex. This girl was one of his longest, and most serious relationship. Can you stop?” If he tries to make you feel crazy for your very normal reaction to his weird obsession with his ex, your boyfriend is not a good boyfriend so you should end it with him to save yourself the He may be talking to her again for closure, or to right some wrongs relating to his past relationship. They broke up a year and a monthish He may be talking to her again for closure, or to right some wrongs relating to his past relationship. Unless your boyfriend and his friends are literally comparing you to his ex, talking about how they preferred her, or saying Jealousy may occur if you perceive a threat to your relationship in real-time, such as when you notice your partner dancing too familiarly with someone at a bar, or if your partner is paying extra attention to someone you feel is attractive. “You always talk about your gf and it makes me feel insecure and pretty uncomfortable. Don't have any good tips but I share your experience. Do you ever feel like something’s not right about the way your boyfriend behaves around his ex? Here are all the warning signs to help you know if there’s something fishy going on between your boyfriend and his ex. 13 was our wedding day — and Your boyfriend may have turned to his ex because that was his last best friend with whom he could turn to for advice. So, instead of letting you see that side of him, where he can't control his emotions about his ex, he completely avoids engaging in a conversation that'll make him talk about her. Emotional confusion. He hadn’t heard from her in a while, but now Hi Melissa thank you for the advice my boyfriend has been divorced for thirteen years went on vacation with her and the kids they were very young when they divorced so he keeper like a some what normal family life for the kids I quest I’m he is great with me but I still think he is hung up he knows I don’t want to hear his story about her Things are pretty great except for the fact that he can't stop talking to one of his ex(s). He lied. But I would try open communication with him first. Stay present. My bf still hangs out with his ex, he says they are friends and they broke up 2 years ago but she still wants to come back to him i told him its not normal that they are still friends but they have mutual friends as well. Keeping contact with an ex tends to be a controversial topic. Once you are ready to bring it up, try to present your concerns as calmly as possible, checking to see how your partner reacts. Of course, there’s a possibility that he still feels something My boyfriend doesn’t like to talk about his feelings and emotions and I want him to know he can tell me anything. A man might talk of his ex relationships because he trusts you with the details. I chose to give him an My ex-boyfriend is the type of guy to take relationships seriously thats why it is hard for me to decipher whether the new girl is a rebound or not. The best way to handle a situation involving a child's life and the mum's is to talk to your man about it. half of expectant mothers [1]. Hello. If he’s putting his ex on a pedestal when he talks about her, it’s probably only a matter of time until he starts making comparisons between My boyfriend (25 M) and me (25 F) have been together officially now for just over six months. They can help you process your Do you and your ex-boyfriend share a lot of friends? When you’re part of the same crowd, you’re bound to run into your ex on a regular basis. He started talking about stuff he would do with her. Delve into the complexities of relationships and uncover whether his past connection poses a threat to your current bond. So take note if they haven't done so, and are instead talking to your partner every single day That said, your relationship is in its early stages. I would say talk to him about your feeling and ask him to see the relationship counselor to If your ex does agree to talk, Boodram says the best course of action is to start the conversation with an open-ended question, like "I'd love to hear what happened between us from your perspective?" Q: I'm dating a guy; he's amazing, kind, passionate, understanding, goes out of his way to help people, and always prioritizes me. He blocked me. If you notice your First, your reliance on your intuition, and second, the way you reacted to his initial answer about whether he would still be with his ex had the nature of the breakup been Either way, it’s not a coincidence if it keeps happening – they want to see you because they still love you. Turn to your friends and family for support to talk you through the jealousy and help give you Of course, the assumption I am going to make about you is that you probably want your ex boyfriend back in this instance because lets face it, you came to my website, Ex Boyfriend Recovery. Have This problem can disturb your relationship and even destroy your trust towards your boyfriend. I love our long talks. We've been together two years now, and at one point I just said fuck it, and I broached the topic. It might be hard but if you want to know what to do when your 14. My boyfriend used to talk about his significant ex. If your partner did something to make you suspicious, be specific about what bothered you. We're deeply in love and care very much about eachother, which is very obvious from the way we interact and the time we spend together, but I can't shake the feeling that he would rather be with his ex (we can call her "Julia," because that's her name). We were both sympathetic to each other’s circumstances and wanted to make it work. A tendency to remember an ex and the past relationship as "perfect" or "the one that got away" can be problematic. You don’t necessarily need to worry if your partner’s ex is still in their life. I’m constantly riddled with anxiety that if he’s not texting me or calling me, he’s talking to her. I’m in a wonderful relationship with a sweet guy who makes me laugh. We have been dating for about 5 months. "In my opinion, talking to your ex is not cheating but only if you are honest with your current partner about it," says psychotherapist and spokesperson for the UK Council for Psychotherapy Tamara Someone else mentioned that love isn’t a finite resource. When I found out, a year into their relationship I confronted him. He's Of course, the assumption I am going to make about you is that you probably want your ex boyfriend back in this instance because lets face it, you came to my website, Ex Boyfriend Recovery. If you have a man that’s untrustworthy, then he shouldn’t be your boyfriend. What does this mean when your partner is friends with an ex? So I understand we all have baggage especially when we are in our 40's. They were married and got divorced a long, long time ago. While the points in this article will help you deal with feeling unsure and uncomfortable when your boyfriend discusses his ex-lovers, as I mentioned before, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation. They have been divorced for 6 years now and have a friendly relationship. You may feel as though your partner’s ex gets too much of their time or attention. Our relationship was just sexual. We’ve been together for a year and a half, and my life has never been so cheerful and complete. This just makes me question why you’re even with him but let’s talk about this problem. I love cooking with him. However, they constantly bring up his ex girlfriend, talking about their old relationship. ) Are you in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t talk about his ex? Then, let’s explore why. The other day Kate posted something that I’m pretty sure she shared from the ex’s stories. My boyfriend is bisexual and I already knew. Again, in this situation, try to be as flexible and empathetic as you can towards your partner’s ex and any Silence about a former lover can indicate lack of closure. Or him talking to his ex Has a recent ex just gotten back into his life? Do you have a question like "Does my boyfriend still love his ex?" Take up this quiz and find out if she is a threat to what you have built with him so far. Determining if your partner is still in love with their ex can take some sleuthing. He told me right from the start he was still friendly with his exes but I didn't know to what extent. Excessive Focus on Performance and Approval “My boyfriend’s so fixated on performance when he makes love—oftentimes I feel like he’s more concerned with his performance than he is with Find out his side and how he truly feels. He says he feels bad not replying to them but I feel like my feelings are being taking advantage of. And he always would call her “my girl” in the context of the story, never “my ex” or by her name. It might lead to unresolved feelings and cause one or both It’s important to try not to make judgments about their process. It becomes more evident in a case of a recent breakup. He could also talk about his ex because he just wants to mess with your mental health. Trombetti says that your guy may not still be in love with his ex, but if he continues to act depressed about The warning signs when your boyfriend talks with his ex. (She already had a boyfriend. August 14, 2019 at 10:55 am He talks about other ex’s who are much more long-term and who has lived with, but I have no issue or problem with these. We cannot control who your partner's family's interacts with or their relationship with his ex. She only calls when she’s away from her current husband(65m). I (24F) went to pick up my boyfriend (24M) at his friend's and I walked in the house and went to the bedroom, the door was cracked open and I could hear them talking about my boyfriend's Ex. If anything, it says more about his ex-wife and their relationship than it does about you. He still feels attached to you. My boyfriend is still in the divorce process but has been separated for over 2 years now. the title pretty much says it all. This year, on his son’s birthday, we went to drop him off at his mother’s house, and I was invited in to look at I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, he has always maintained in contact with his ex. One of his closest friends is his ex-girlfriend of several years. Your boyfriend likely has feelings about her and their relationship that he doesn’t know how to manage, either in his own heart or with you; and you feel anxious because you believe that his Whenever I mention something, for example our height difference (as we haven't met yet because of covid and finances but we are going to meet this month for the first time), his first thought is his ex. I didn't see it for the first 8 months as I wasn't involved in his daughter's life, but my boyfriend was very upfront about his relationship with his ex-wife. Today me and my boyfriend were in the car and we were just having a great time until he started talking about his ex. He knows he shouldn't be doing it (he often starts a conversation with "I know I shouldn't be talking about this"), but he still does. What he says reveals Please help me decide because I still sort of have feelings for my ex. This could be all there is to it. She always calls him, he never calls her. He was my lover, confidant, and best friend. I have met my new boyfriend and we have been together for 1 year and recently he told me that he wan ends our relationship as he could not accept my kid which is not his. 5. According to data provided by 93. Talk to your partner see what his family members like to do, ask one of them to do something one-on-one with you. 15. I only met him 3 months after he broke up with ex-girlfriend of 8 months. Your boyfriend’s daily messaging with his ex could damage his primary partnership with you, and needs to stop. It makes me worry about our relationship. The issue here isn’t that he’s still in love with his childhood friend/girlfriend (people aren’t expected to stop loving passed on parents, grandparents etc), but in how he’s handling the grief There are so many reasons they could be doing this. my energy attracted predators By using your sweet and seductive voice instead of yelling at him over something he may genuinely not realize he is doing, you can potentially reduce the frequency with which he talks to his ex without making him feel attacked and damaging your relationship. They feel awkward talking to you about their love life. We’ve all been hurt by people and it’s okay to carry that with us! The partner who eventually leaves a relationship is far more likely to be spared an ex-partner’s pain or wrath if they acknowledge and address these warning signs early on. She's even re-married and has another child. Nina. Our relationship is so good apart from this. If it’s either of the latter two, it’s possible he’s not over his relationship with his ex. 1. Unfortunately, you too skipped something momentous i. It’s important to be open and honest with him. This is true even when it can be a tricky conversation. If he isn’t attracted to his ex, then neither were you. She always comes up with some “crisis” to call over. Well now we are back home from overseas 1 month. e. He recently ended up following her on her With my current boyfriend, I don't really care. Often, an ex will want to have a girl on the side because of any number of reasons. He WILL realize his mistake if you leave him, it's only a matter of time. If the ex sees that you are moving into a parental role with his or her children, which can include Q: My (21M) boyfriend (20M) is best friends with his ex; she’s even spent the night at his house from time to time. At the start of the relationship I saw some messages I was u comfortable with and deemed in appropriate so he cut contract with him for a while but they started messaging again. My boyfriend had his first proper relationship (2-3 years long) in his late 20s which is about 10 years ago. ) I trust my boyfriend, and I sleep well knowing his ex hates us both. 1) He’s Trying To Move On; Talking to your boyfriend about his Ex isn’t the missing piece of the puzzle in your relationship. A man on a sofa smiling at his mobile phone, while a woman looks worried. We used to be friends until I started dating him. My boyfriend of 4 years talks to his ex-wife about every other week. My boyfriend and his mum have a close bond – I feel like she’s subconsciously willing our relationship to fail by keeping “a flame burning” with her son’s ex. I finally saw a photo of her and I didn't think much of her. If your partner seems either "too interested or uncomfortable when their ex's name comes up in conversation, Is he open about it, or does he hide it? Does your boyfriend openly talk about He’s texting or contacting her behind your back. I blocked him and told her. A couple months after the breakup he fell into depression over guilt for abandoning her (she was extremely dependent on him) and missing If you think that your boyfriend texting his ex is getting in the way of your relationship or causing trust issues, you do need to talk to him. They both need to detach. Avoid Insecurity. 4 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Gets Mad When You Talk About His Ex. If your partner often Remember that his relationship with his ex broke down. If you still love your ex, social media is not going to be helpful. So take note if they haven't done so, and are instead talking to your partner every single day Are you in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t talk about his ex? Then, let’s explore why. people talk about their common past. At the beginning of us knowing each other he overshared pretty much EVERYTHING about them. However, if your 4. ; Why your man might still be thinking about his ex and how this can be something positive. Supposedly, she’s calling about their grown children. He doesn’t care that he hurts you with his behavior because he would rather defend her than you. I’m like you I hate talking about my ex and rarely do it. Closure is another. Did I have every right to feel uncomfortable and angry? If you're struggling to cope with your partner's friendship with an ex, talk to your partner about it. But keep in mind, "if [your partner cares] enough to go out of their way to look at the page, there’s a high chance they’re still attached to their If your boyfriend talks to his ex, this isn’t always a red flag. If you are still struggling with feelings of love, sadness, grief, or anger long after the relationship has ended, consider talking to a mental health professional. Sometimes relationships don’t work out, but If it was a healthy relationship w a mature breakup, no reason why it can’t be a nice friendship if the two people are on the same page and still care about each other. The issue here isn’t that he’s still in love with his childhood friend/girlfriend (people aren’t expected to stop loving passed on parents, grandparents etc), but in how he’s handling the grief Your relationship with your boyfriend is great. He told me about her early in our relationship before I met her and asked me how I felt about that Dear Therapist, I have been dating a divorced man with two kids for four years. He told me it was a bad relationship and she wouldn’t sleep with him. It's normal not to be quite sure what the boundaries are. When I learned that, I disclosed to him my previous relationship history, which was that my ex-boyfriend had cheated on me with his respective ex-girlfriend. #1 Your Guy Isn’t Over His Ex Yet. What you can control here is your relationship with them. Have some deep, open talk with your boyfriend and ask him about how he really feels, about his ex about your relationship. I’d rather know about it happening then him hiding it from me though. He doesn’t like it when you read texts from his ex on his cell phone Kate often likes her pictures, and occasionally leaves complimentary comments. Below we go over more on each reason, as well as the risk his ex-girlfriend poses to your relationship. Sometimes, though, he can be insensitive and unaware of certain . He was talking about his last relationship (his ex broke up about 1 1/2 years go, they don't have any contact since). I'm with Chi. In my opinion when you're in a serious long-term relationship with someone they should be your first priority. Today, my boyfriend admitted that he is still in love with his ex. Excessive Focus on Performance and Approval “My boyfriend’s so fixated on performance when he makes love—oftentimes I feel like he’s more concerned with his performance than he is with Yah. And don't even know it. So it 1. I love sitting with him in silence as we both do different things. 1 FM Wzak, 71% out of 1000 people (both single and attached) admitted they find it difficult not to think about their former partner. My boyfriend (m26) and I (f23) have been together for almost a year now. (She left him, without giving too many warnings. I love that he knows how strong and independent I am. Remember that his relationship with his ex broke down. You can still be in love with your lost girlfriend and and also love someone else. This is a huge problem. Q: My boyfriend is friends with his ex, which is fine with me, or so I thought initially. Bottling up your concerns would only make you act irrationally and seem insensitive to your partner. The healthiest relationships often rely on a combination of effective communication and emotional intimacy. 2 years into the relationship I had the chance to meet his ex and it went okay apart from at the end he said If you love him, then talk to him and tell him you will not compete for his attention and that you deserve better. I said, “Your ex was a beauty Q. So your boyfriend might be feeling some anger at the situation because he’s feeling displaced by this new man in his ex-wife’s life. Before you jump to any conclusions, first let's figure out why your boyfriend is talking to an ex. I’ve dated several emotionally unavailable men in the past and this has not been the case with my current boyfriend at all – so overall, I’m very happy with him. Just because they have a child together doesn’t mean that your boyfriend needs to “My boyfriend still talks to his ex”, cannot be a good feeling in any sense or way. every time we visit, she goes on about how he was when they dated vs how he is now. if you are in any condition related to love issue or getting your ex back or and problem at all, pls Contact E The healthiest relationships often rely on a combination of effective communication and emotional intimacy. My ex was in a relationship for 8y and left her for me right when covid hit. You want to stay in the present moment as much as possible, says Simonian. I’ve been implementing no contact for 6 days now. You want to see what’s out there but keep your ex close in case you change your mind. You get angry when they talk about their ex. They Hang Out Often Instead of being irritated when your guy talks about his ex, listen closely. If he has clothing that he wears from an ex that bothers you, time to whip out that hoodie from the past. For that, references from the old days have been taken, and you always sounded comfortable sharing them with him. If you think that your boyfriend texting his ex is getting in the way of your relationship or causing trust issues, you do need to talk to him. If you’re asking me whether it’s a reasonable deal-breaker for someone to have — whether someone’s parental status and the effect kids has on his or her life is a legitimate reason to end a relationship, then the answer is: of course! A good sign someone is not over their ex is if they only hold their new partner to a standard based on the ex. For most mature self respecting people, this is a deal breaker. Long story short, we have been split up for almost 2yrs but just recently my ex had lunch with his brother and My bf of 16 months still talks about his ex. Many people stay friends with their exes, and it doesn’t mean they still have feelings for them. But something’s been bothering you lately—he’s talking to his ex! As you can probably tell by now, there are many possible reasons why your boyfriend is talking to his ex, and most of them don’t really mean anything. Me (18f) and my boyfriend (19m) have been together almost a year. If your partner is BFFs with their ex, Backe says they probably still feel some form of connection to them. While dealing with exes can be challenging, Regular conversations between your boyfriend and his female friend may be the reason in your case. Your partner’s issues with his or her ex are best left between them. In this article you will learn: The clear answer to your question, “Is he still in love with his ex? Evident signs that he misses his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, and how to deal with it. There are always major relationship deal breakers — like not getting along with If it’s either of the latter two, it’s possible he’s not over his relationship with his ex. The way that your girlfriend or boyfriend talks about exes can be extremely revealing. his emotional backbone. How do you think I should help him 1) Remove Yourself. In short, I hate who I am when I’m like this. You will only torture yourself if you scroll through your platforms. According to him, "A situation like this is almost never healthy for a new relationship When we first started dating, I learned that he is very close friends with his ex-girlfriend. It may be that he gets angry about things his ex did or lashes out when something reminds him of her. I read their texts because I was a trying to snoop for something else, and honestly it Don't have any good tips but I share your experience. She is too dependant on him and it is unhealthy. If you trust him then it shouldn't be a problem. they are friends, and know a healthy slice of one another's history. So, in this context, if you ask whether it is normal for your boyfriend to talk to a female friend every day or not, the answer is gonna be: Yes. This is a fact-based statement, not an ultimatum. So take note if they haven't done so, and are instead talking to your partner every single day Once a relationship has come to an end, basic small talk can feel a little awkward. Guilty feelings from carrying a secret torch often make a person not want to talk about an ex. I deleted his numbers and really intend to ever contact him ever again. I have been divorced for 17 years. Feuerman also advised that you should remain calm and "approach your partner with curiosity instead of blame or attack" and Maybe you're the one who's being toxic in the relationship. It had been at least 4 years since they had any type of contact. I’ve been with my current partner a few years now, but we got off to a rough start – long story short when we got together he had a drug issue that I wasn’t aware of. I found out that he has been searching for and looking up his ex and other girls on Google and on all kinds of social media a lot, almost everyday. The way your boyfriend talks about his past relationships reveals A LOT more than you might think. There are exceptions but I think as a general rule, avoiding exes is best practice. Is it wrong to talk to your ex while you're in a relationship? It's wrong to talk to your ex if you're not over your ex, if your ex isn't over you, or if your partner doesn't know or approve of you talking to your ex. So consider why you are I was with someone who did this but it was always the same person he brought up. Hi I’ve been with my partner for four years, he has a child with his ex of whom we have stay with us four days a week, what has upset me is that, he has spoken to his ex about me, things like my job, losing my family in house fire recently of which he’s not been supporting off, I feel he talks more to her than he does me, I understand they Someone else mentioned that love isn’t a finite resource. I don’t know if i’m being stupid for constantly forgiving him. But a few recommended reads that I think will really help from here: My boyfriend doesn’t like to talk about his feelings and emotions and I want him to know he can tell me anything. Jealousy is a totally normal feeling, however, it could become dangerous. My ex would talk about his exes to communicate to me subtly what contributed to the end of his relationships. He used to treat me so much better than my last relationship. The most apparent and confusing unhealthy boundaries with ex-wife are when she’s too flirtatious. How do you think I should help him Find out what advice I offer today's reader, whose boyfriend is secretly talking to his ex. This means that they clearly weren’t the perfect match. Remember that communication is essential to 2. Your boyfriend still has feelings for his ex or has bottled-up hurtful emotions he never dealt with. I love that he talks about his feelings and genuinely tries to understand mine. It's normal to be sad about a breakup, but not after you're in another relationship. In my opinion, in most cases talking to an ex is a bad idea. Your ex doesn’t want to get into an awkward situation, so they avoid talking about their love life with you. He’s still bitter about his ex. If you don’t trust him because you’re insecure about his friendship with his ex, you’re only going to accomplish the following: At the end of the day, asking your boyfriend about his ex shouldn’t be about digging into his past—but about understanding him better. Is It OK For What It Means When Your Ex Boyfriend Says “Never Talk To Me Again” In Situation 1. He would mostly complain about the things she used to do but sometimes it was a casual mention . And has gotten fat. You will find yourself trying to leave up to the standards of many women that you forget to be you. I visited my now boyfriend in FL for his birthday. Both of their kids are professionals. So my (26F) boyfriend (29M) has been hiding our relationship from his ex (broke up about a year before we got together) that he occasionally still talks to (~twice a year, she always messages first). They’re all over your social media. 4. My boyfriend still talks to his exes, he usually tells me about it but I’ve told him before that it bothers me. If you’d like to ensure you communicate with your significant other in a way that can improve your relationship, it can be vital to practice active listening, watch your partner’s nonverbal communication, be honest, and don’t assume you can read your partner’s I know this is not what you want to hear at first, but the best way to address a challenge is by exploring all root causes. and that’s especially true if it was a long relationship. She needs to find new supports. If he continues to talk about your details via text message - then that is a deal breaker. If your boyfriend's ex has tried to get in touch with him and he hasn't told about it to you, the thought that you will discover it and will get pissed off by it might be bothering your boyfriend. Day by days he does talk to his ex more and even in front of you. I read their texts because I was a trying to snoop for something else, and honestly it Your ex is someone you trust and they make your life better by being in it. He knows that if he talks to you with his ex often, it will affect your self-esteem, confidence, and Without a doubt, one of the things that brings the most discomfort in a relationship is when a man or a boyfriend talks and has contact with his ex constantly. Table of Contents. It says nothing about your boyfriend. Here are five signs that may signal that your relationship is toxic. He might remember what close friends the two of you were and not want to spoil it by talking about his new relationship. It made me really uncomfortable and angry. These conversations can help you both grow and strengthen your connection if handled with care.
